Friday, July 25, 2008

My Mum, the story continues

This week my siblings and I completed the clearing out of Mum's house in readiness for it to be leased. This was a hard job as there were so many memories, so many emotions. It all seems so final...

The lockdown at the nursing home was lifted July 15; it'd been in place for 10 days. We siblings were very glad to be able to go visit Mum again. She continues to decline and is completely bedridden. It's an awful feeling to see her so weak and so helpless. She is lucid most of the time we visit though sometimes she talks about things that have come from the past somewhere. She sleeps most of the time and often drifts off to sleep while we visit her.

I find myself grieving deep inside, grieving for the person she once was, for the weakness in which she finds herself now, and for my own sense of loss. 91 is a good age and we all must die sometime... and I am at peace about that. However, I do feel deeply the looming loss of her physical presence here on earth.

The doctors are surprised that she lives on even with all that is wrong with her, and with all the weakness and heart failure she experiences.

Not any easy time...

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